I'll save discussing the counsellor entertainment of the evening of Day 4 to later in this post since it was so brilliant (I will hunt down the photos without fail, alas I don't carry around my own camera all the time). The day off was supposed to be white water rafting. What makes it white, whether it be the rafts or the water remains to be seen as rain on the morning in question meant the whole thing was cancelled... Rather than spend all day at camp I joined the trip to Middletown Mall where the following exciting things occurred: a) I bought a razor and a pad of paper b) I had a drink of water with the lads and lasses c) I watched Super8. Of the the three, Super8 was the most overhyped... J. J. Abrams should be ashamed of such a well-shot, high-budget, reasonably well-acted CGI-fest because even though it was a fun way to expend a couple of hours, it had all the narrative of a Biff and Chip book and ticked more boxes than I did to get over here - crash-landing alien <check>, scientist who regrets his experiments <check>, totalitarian military with obsessive leader <check>, psychic connection <check>, amazing technology that has no explanation <check>, kids with tremendous powers of self-preservation <check>. It would have been more entertaining had they stuck with the kids' narrative-establishing zombie movie, and gone Stephen King style. Adding a d) to the list, my hopes of blog recognition were raised by surprise by Ermintrude... outside of Dunkin' Donuts while digging into my salmon and cream cheese bagel she exclaimed that she was reading my blog.
After being driven back in the bus (a yellow school bus that I felt would have been better put to use reversing into a bank and then driving away with $60 million and the comic-book world's greatest villain) there was the BBQ that was supposed to follow the rafting. Nothing particular to report except that I finally got a chance to get some good pictures of the group.
After the BBQ there was a brief lull of shower, change and style before heading to Mel's, the bar down the road. A welcoming American bar, it was fairly cheap and with a good 30 of us there to chill and celebrate Curly's birthday (I'm anonymising where possible to avoid future flaskbacks, nothing untoward happened at the bar but who knows what people will read into this). Guinness was a little watery but not as bad as had been reported, and the rest of the evening was helped along by Barry and Petunia giving up their drinks to me; such cent-counting is all the better as I'm thinking my travel plans might get rather expensive. Besides enough Game of Thrones to get me to sleep, the rest of the evening was uneventful.
Today started with a run, Stalk was supposed to join me but for some alarms are nothing against the might of a late night, alcohol and the encroaching murk of jet lag. Breakfast, meetings, brushing up on the kids' idiosyncrasies and the aforementioned sport workshop are the antecedents to this post. The fact that I can use 'antecedents' is a good sign that the online training for camp wasn't a waste :).
Now, onto counsellors' entertainment: since we're expected to provide novel skits and acts for the kids and ourselves over the camp period there was a rehearsal of sorts on the evening of Day 4. Acts were arranged by breaking the counsellors up into groups and giving each a piece of paper bearing a title, 15 minutes of prep time and unlimited access to a closet of costumes and accessories. The skits included the Camp Lee Mar Bugspray, the Camp Lee Mar Shampoo, as well as the Camp Lee Mar Weather Service and comments on the Camp Lee Mar food and staff (I need not clarify but I feel like doing it anyway, but the common theme for all performances was indeed Camp Lee Mar).
For the ideas that led to raucous laughter and applause from our skit there are two who deserve praise: Scotty and Twosie. Cross-dressing as Ari's (Camp Director) right hand woman Lyndsey, keeping with the pantomime theme, Scotty was a collision between the cast of Hair and a Gay Pride march and Twosie selected the sombrero and guitar that would complete the pair in the "International Romance" that was our title. Met off the bus by Ari, our technocolour Lyndsey proceeded to the cabins; as the camp narrator - dressed in a trilby, black jacket and pink feather boa - I set the scene for the exotic, erotic, cring-making farce that was to follow as 'Lyndsey' went down to the pool to rub oil into the back of Twosie's genius Mexican love interest... his improvised serenade, coupling 'Lyndsey' with 'flimsy' along with one of the worst pick-up lines in the history of camp cracked me up on the spot.
Flowing via well-rehearsed scene changes [read: Curt picking up a chair and sitting down on the other side of the room] the setting switched to Lyndsey receiving sound advice from Lee Marone (the camp founder) as played but Curt in a dress familiar only to Dame Edith Evans in The Importance of Being Earnest... at the mention of 'The Three Fs', the anticipation in the room grew for the simple reason that in the metaconsciousness of camp there is a forbidden knowledge of this three point relationship mantra as given by the true Lee Marone in times long past - alas, the explicit content of said trinity will remain known only to those present... Find 'em and Forget 'em are the first and last and the middle F can be left to the imagination. The ultimate outcome of the skit was such, that Lyndsey arranged a match between said Mexican and a jealous fellow counsellor, with all references to Lee, Ari and Lyndsey receiving side-splitting laughs from the real-life counterparts... and a double thumbs up from Lee herself at the mention of 'The Three Fs'.
[photo wanting]
Actually finishing this on Day 7, I'm tempted to include this rather crazy day: the kids arriving, the ensuing sorrows and joys etc., the chocolate picnic that Petunia provides courtesy of a doting boyfriend and family... but it's already actually Day 8 and Tekno's on duty waiting for me to get back to the cabin.
